5 MORE Things I Would Do If I Wanted to Feel Older
Apparently, I struck a nerve.
I made a short video called “5 Things I Would Do If I Wanted to Feel Older.”
It was meant to be funny. It was also meant to be true.
It took off so I thought I'd keep going.
Because the more I thought about it, the more I realized there are plenty of ways to feel older that have absolutely nothing to do
with your birthday. In fact, some of them have nothing to do with your age at all. They have to do with how you live.
So here are five more things I would do if I really wanted to feel older.
1. Stop making plans
I'd wait for someone to call me. I'd wait for an invitation. I'd wait for my friends to get together.
And if nobody did?
I'd stay home.
Then I'd complain that nobody does anything anymore.
This one is particularly sneaky because it can happen gradually. You have a busy year.
Then a busy month. Then a few weekends when you don't feel like going anywhere.
Pretty soon, you're not making plans because you're waiting for someone else to make them.
Here's what I've learned:
You don't need an invitation to have a life.
Call someone. Make a reservation. Buy the ticket. Go to the restaurant. Take yourself somewhere.
Invite people along. And if nobody can come?
Go anyway.
Your life shouldn't be dependent on somebody else's calendar.
2. Complain constantly about how things used to be
I'd become an expert in the sentence “It wasn't like this when I was young.”
People were nicer. Music was better. Restaurants were better. Kids had better manners. Nobody knows
how to talk to anyone anymore. And don't even get me started on what they've done to the price of a hamburger.
Some of this may even be true.
But here's the problem:
If you're constantly comparing today to yesterday, you're not really living in today.
Nostalgia is wonderful. I love remembering things. But there's a difference between remembering the past
and moving into it permanently.
I'd rather be curious about what's happening now.
What's new? What's interesting? What don't I understand yet?
Because the world isn't going to stop changing just because we've gotten older.
And honestly, I don't want to be the woman sitting on the sidelines complaining about it.
I want a front-row seat.
3. Dress exclusively for comfort
Now, before anybody gets angry with me, let me clarify. I love comfortable clothes.
At this point in my life, I have very little interest in suffering for fashion. But there's a difference
between comfortable and completely checked out.
If I wanted to feel older, I'd stop caring about how I look. I'd wear whatever was closest.
I'd stop buying things that made me feel fabulous because, well, what's the point? I'd decide that certain
clothes were “too young” for me. I'd start dressing according to my age instead of dressing according to myself.
That's the part I don't like. You don't have to dress younger. You don't have to dress trendier. You don't even have to care about clothes.
But if putting on lipstick, buying ridiculous shoes, wearing the great jacket or trying a new hairstyle makes you feel good?
Do it.
There is no age at which you're required to become invisible.
4. Stop meeting new people
I'd decide my social circle is complete.
These are my friends.
These are the people I know.
These are the places I go.
End of story.
I'd stop striking up conversations with strangers.
Stop accepting invitations from people I don't know well.
Stop going places where I might not know anyone.
And I'd tell myself I don't really need new friends.
That's another way your world gets smaller.
Because meeting new people isn't just about making friends.
It's about being exposed to different ideas, different experiences, different stories and sometimes an entirely different version of yourself.
Some of the most interesting people you'll ever meet haven't met you yet.
Why would you close the door on that?
5. Keep waiting for the right time.
This might be the biggest one.
I'd tell myself:
I'll travel when things settle down.
I'll write the book when I have more time.
I'll take the class next year.
I'll start the business when I'm more confident.
I'll move when the timing is better.
I'll do it when I'm ready.
And then I'd wait.
And wait.
And wait.
Until one day I realized something:
There is no “right time.”
There is just the time you have.
And I'm increasingly convinced that one of the great privileges of getting older is realizing that you don't have to spend quite so much time waiting for permission.
You don't need everyone's approval.
You don't need to know exactly how it will turn out.
You don't need to prove that you're qualified.
You don't need to explain why you want it.
Sometimes you just need to decide.
Maybe getting older isn't the problem.
We're all getting older. That's not particularly negotiable.
But I don't think getting older requires us to become less curious, less adventurous, less social, less interested or less interesting.
If anything, we should have an advantage.
We've lived long enough to know that most things aren't nearly as scary as we imagined. We've survived embarrassment.
Bad decisions. Wrong turns. Heartbreak. Career changes. People who didn't like us. People we thought we'd never get over.
We've figured out that life rarely goes exactly according to plan. So why would we suddenly start playing it safe now?
I don't want my world to get smaller because I'm getting older.
I want it to get more interesting.
More stories.
More people.
More places.
More ridiculous ideas.
More “Why not?”
And maybe that's what I'm really talking about when I say I don't want to feel old.
I'm not trying to be younger. I'm trying to remain interested in being here.
Because getting older is automatic.
Feeling old is optional.
