5 Things I Would Do If I Wanted to Feel Older

A funny thing happens as we get older: the years are automatic. Feeling old isn't.

A few weeks ago, I made a short video called “5 Things I Would Do If I Wanted to Feel Older.”

It was supposed to be a quick, slightly sarcastic talking-head video. It took off.

Apparently, I had stumbled into something a lot of women were thinking about. And I get it.

Because getting older isn't necessarily what makes us feel old. Sometimes it's what we stop doing.

The smaller our world becomes, the older we tend to feel. So, if I really wanted to speed things along, here's exactly what I'd do.

1. Stop moving

I'd find a comfortable chair and make it my headquarters. I'd take the elevator when I could take the stairs. I'd drive when I could walk.
I'd stop doing anything that required a little effort.

And then I'd wonder why I didn't feel as energetic as I used to.

I'm not talking about becoming a fitness fanatic. I'm talking about staying in motion.

Walk somewhere. Dance in the kitchen. Take the stairs.

Garden. Go exploring.

Move because you're alive—not because you're trying to win a fitness competition.

The goal isn't to look younger.

It's to keep participating in your own life.

2. Talk about my aches and pains all the time

I'd make every conversation an opportunity to discuss my latest medical development.

“How are you?”

“My knee.”

“What have you been up to?”

“My back.”

“Want to go somewhere?”

“I don't know. My hip has been bothering me.”

Look, we all have things that hurt. At this age, some mornings require a brief negotiation with the skeleton before we get out of bed.

That's life. But there's a difference between having aches and making aches your identity.

Your body is allowed to complain. You don't have to give it the microphone.

3. Stay home and watch television every night

Honestly, sometimes getting cozy at home is such a flex! Who doesn’t love a night on the couch, a warm blanket ,
your favorite snacks and binging Netflix.

The problem comes when “I'm staying home tonight” becomes “I don't really go anywhere anymore.”

Because interesting things happen when you leave the house. You meet people. You discover places.
You get lost. You have conversations you didn't expect to have..You order something you've never tried.
You occasionally make a spectacularly bad decision. And then you have a story.

Stories are one of the best antidotes to feeling old.

4. Stop trying new things

If I wanted to feel older, I'd decide that I already know what I like.

The restaurants I like.

The clothes I like.

The music I like.

The places I like.

The people I like.

And I'd stop experimenting. Because here's the thing nobody tells you:
Curiosity doesn't have an expiration date.

You can learn to make pasta at 70.
Take up photography at 65.
Go somewhere you've never been.
Try pickleball.
Take a class.
Get on a plane.
Start a business.

You don't have to become a different person.
Just give your current self something new to be interested in.

5. Start saying, “I'm too old for that.”

This one might be the most dangerous because once you say it enough, you start believing it.

I'm too old to start over.
I'm too old to travel alone.
I'm too old to date.
I'm too old to wear that.

Maybe some things genuinely aren't for you anymore.
That's different. “I don't want to” is a perfectly legitimate sentence.

But “I'm too old” deserves a little interrogation.
Are you actually too old? Or are you uncomfortable?
Are you afraid you'll look foolish?
Are you worried about what people will think?

Or have you simply gotten very good at talking yourself out of things?

Because there's a big difference.

Getting older is automatic.
Feeling old isn't.

I'm not interested in turning back time. I've earned every year I've got.
And I'm certainly not interested in pretending I'm 30.
But I am interested in making sure that my life doesn't get smaller simply because my age gets bigger.

I crave new ideas, people, and places. I want to remain interested in the world and, frankly,
remain interesting to myself.

Because maybe that's the real secret. You don't have to stay young. We don’t have a magic
pill for that. But you do have to stay engaged.

And if you ever catch yourself saying, “I'm too old for that,” pause for a second.

Maybe you're right.

But maybe...

you've just forgotten that you don't need a reason.